Don't think that after nearly two years you are off the hook. I have experienced a wonderful sobriety for over the past two years and have received many blessings because of it, but I've learned today that I still must stay on my guard. The adversary wants us bad, especially when we are making rapid strides against his filthy tide. For some reason I woke up this morning and felt weak. I'm afraid if I would have hung around my apartment any longer, something could have happened. But I left and headed to work.
I know that part of the problem was that I was a little down on myself. At times it can be hard to believe that I will accomplish all that I want to. Occasionally I still think about past mistakes and they pull me down. Some days the shame that I thought was gone looms it's ugly head back into my heart. But I like to think I am like Nephi in his Psalm. He called himself a wretched man, but then pulled himself out of it by remembering who he has trusted.
I too have trusted the Lord and he has taken care of me. He has brought me out the jaws of pornography, and I am NOT going back in. I know that I always have a choice. It may be incredibly hard to change at times, but with His strength, I can do all things.
You have a hard road to head on, but you can do it brother. Don't let discouragement get in your way. Don't let relapse get in your way. Use the stones that have burdened your back as stepping stones to get where you want to go. Be strong.
Signed,
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